Sigh. The few days leading up to Valentines Day were tough for me. I’m actually noticing that all holidays are tough these days, probably because it’s the first official year of being single. This surprises me a little bit. I understand why holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years’ are difficult; that’s to be expected when a family falls apart. Valentines surprises me because it was never really something my ex was into celebrating and I used to feel disappointed about that. I know it’s just another day, and mostly a “Hallmark Holiday”, but I’m a real sucker for having any excuse to celebrate the people I love. I love the idea of celebrating your birth month, instead of your birthday and I like having silly holidays that inspire us to tell the people in our lives that they are loved and special.
I think I was blue because I REALLY don’t like being single. I’m doing my thang to learn to embrace it and to grow, but as of now, I don’t like it. It feels better than being in a relationship that makes you feel lonely and unwanted, but I STILL don’t like it. I don’t love dating either. 😐 Again, I haven’t kissed any frogs. I can just see that I have more work to do on me, before I settle down with my Prince Charming.
I was anxious for this whole Valentines thing to just be over already. I considered taking myself out as my own Valentine, but reconsidered. It’s my week with my boys and I knew I didn’t want to give up time with them. We went out for a nice dinner and had a really great time. Valentines wishes from friends and family lifted my spirits quite a bit as well. I’m beyond grateful for my boys and the special people in my life. Thank you for loving me when I don’t feel so lovable.
I know things will get easier. I need to shake off my pity party pants and decide on Date #3, which will be next week. 😁